AntiValentine's Day
by Shadougelover14
Summary: I know this is really late, but please enjoy it anyway! Cupid goes to work on Valentine's Day, but someone's getting in the way...


"Today's is going to be _fabulous_!" Cupid exclaimed happily.

Once again it was February 14, Valentine's Day, and he was more pepped than usual.

"Oh I can already feel the love in the air! Cherubs, I think I'll be doing Dimmsdale solo this year!"

"Are you sure, sir?" one asked.

"Of course I am! Now gather my gear, and get me a chai latte!"

"Sir yes sir!"

He armed himself with his bow, a large sheath of arrows, and thermos full of coffee.

"Dimmsdale, get ready to feel the _loooove_!" he cheered in a sing-song voice.

He opened a heart shaped portal to said town, and flew through with shouts of excitement and encouragement from his cherubs following.

::::::::::::::::::::;

"Alright, now who's first on the love list?" Cupid asked himself as he pulled out a long list of names.

"Hm, Delia and Robert. Okie dokie, let's get this show on the road!"

After a few minutes of flying, he found said couple, and shot two arrows at them. Seconds later they were kissing and hugging each other.

"Ah, young love. Alright, one down, two hundred more to go!"

Taking a swig of coffee, he turned and flew off. After he'd left though, two black arrows flew into the couple, and suddenly they were glaring at each other.

"Creep!" Delia shouted.

"Skunk bag!" Robert retorted.

They both huffed, and turned and stormed off in opposite directions. A dark figure peered out from behind a tree, his red eyes watching the twosome, and laughed.

:::::::::::::::::::::::

Cupid fired two more arrows, and two teenagers were hit with love.

"Well, that takes care of them. Just a hundred more and it's on to Rio!" he stated as he checked off the couple on his list.

He turned to fly off and find the nest couple, when suddenly,

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

He paused, and turned to see who'd shouted. It was the two teens he'd just coupled together.

"What the?"

He loaded two more arrows, and fired. A second later, they were hugging again. He smiled and nodded, and turned away again.

"You make me sick!"

"You make the world sick!"

He turned to see them fighting again.

"Hey, what in the name of love is going on here?"

He heard a snicker, and turned to see what looked like an exact clone of him, except for a few things. One, he was black and blue. Two, his eyes were red. And three, he had absolutely no taste in fashion.

"Miss me?" Anti-Cupid asked with a smirk.

"Oh, not you again. Go ruin someone else's holiday!" Cupid growled.

"Technically this is both of ours holiday. You have Valentine's Day, I have Anti-Valentine's Day. You spread _love_, I spread hate. One day, I hope to fill the entire universe with hate!" Anti-Cupid stated, a tear in his eye. A butterfly fluttered by him, and he squashed it in his hands while still smiling.

"Yeah, just try it."

"Oh I'm already ahead of you. There are two hundred unhappy couples in this city."

"As if, I've already tied the knot for a hundred of them."

"You're not the only one whose been busy you know."

Cupid paused for a moment, before pulling out his love measurer. The meter was half empty, bordering between not a lot and lots o love.

"Why you! That took a lot of coffee to do you know!"

"Ugh, you and coffee. I don't know what you see in that revolting brew."

"Are you kidding it's fabulous! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, STOP RUINING MY HOLIDAY!"

"Are you gonna make me?"

Cupid and his Anti-Fairy counterpart glared at each other, bristling with ire.

"We'll see what's stronger, love or hate." Anti-Cupid stated, before flying off.

"Love conquers all you wanna be!" Cupid retorted, following after him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::;

The fight was on.

Cupid was going back through his list, fixing the couples that had been turned against each other, but every time he turned his back, Anti-Cupid would ruin them again.

"This is a complete disaster! I'm low on arrows, all the couples in Dimmsdale hate each other, and worst of all, I'm almost out of coffee!"

He spotted the first couple, Delia and Robert, and after looking around and not spotting Anti-Cupid, he aimed and fired. The duo once again hugged and clasped hands as they strolled down the street.

"There we go. That Anti-Cupid's not going to ruin Valentine's Day this year!" Cupid stated as he raised his thermos to take a drink.

Suddenly an arrow shattered the thermos, and two more struck the two teens. They once again yelled at each other, and stormed off.

Cupid glared at Anti-Cupid, who was twirling his black bow in the air.

"Whoops, looks like you'll have to start over, _again._" The Anti-Fairy snickered.

"Alright, that does it you diaper wearing blue berry! I've had it up to here with you! Not only did you ruin Valentine's Day for Dimmsdale, make me start over countless times, and waste my day! You ruined my latte! I am going above your head!"

Cupid vanished in pink puff of smoke and hearts, and Anti-Cupid blinked a few times.

"Okay…"

::::::::::::::::::::::::

Anti-Cosmo was settling in his chair in front of the fire place, holding a cup of tea.

"Ah, nothing like a cup of tea and a warm fire." He sighed.

Suddenly the doors were blown open, revealing a steaming mad Cupid. Anti-Wanda and Foop were behind him.

"Sorry Anti-Cozzie, I done told him you don't like being disturbed like this." Anti-Wanda announced.

"Cupid? What the devil do you think you're-"

He was cut off when Cupid grabbed his shirt and yanked him to eye level.

"I don't care what you do or how you do it, just make him stop RUINING MY HOLIDAY!"

Anti-Cosmo was stunned for a moment. The God of Love wasn't normally this furious for any reason, unless someone messed with Valentine's Day like Turner did once.

"Who the devil are you talking about?" he finally asked after a minute.

"Tell that rotten Anti-Cupid to butt out of Valentine's Day! It's my day to spread love, and he's ruining everything! It's not even two a clock yet and I've been through three pots of coffee! Do you know how long that is?"

"Maybe it's time you lightened up on the caffeine…"

"JUST DO SOMETHING!"

"Alright, alright, just relax!"

Cupid let him go, and Anti-Cosmo's wand glowed. Seconds later, Anti-Cupid appeared.

"Hey, what gives? I was in the middle of ruining a perfectly good relationship! This better be good or-"

He turned to see Anti-Cosmo and stopped.

"Oh, sir! Um, sorry, didn't know it was you! I thought it was- hey, what's he doing here!"

Cupid and Anti-Cupid glared at each other.

"You brought Anti-Cosmo into this? Are you that desperate?" Anti-Cupid growled.

"You're turning Valentine's Day into a nightmare! I'm just lucky my cherubs are spreading love to the rest of the planet or I'd be dead by now!"

"Boy, wouldn't that be nice?"

"You'd vanish too ya know!"

"At least I'd make the world a hate filled place!"

"Over my dead turned to fairy dust body!"

"I can easily arrange that!"

Before Anti-Cosmo and his family knew it, arrows were flying all over the place. Taking cover behind an overturned table, the trio watched Cupid and his Anti-Fairy battle it out.

"Love conquers all!"

"Hate will vanquish all!"

An arrow lodged into the table a few inches from Anti-Cosmo.

"Alright, that does it!" he growled.

He _Anti-poofed_ above the duo, his wand glowed, and two arm like objects appeared and grabbed them.

"Alright that's enough!" Anti-Cosmo shouted as he brought them closer to him.

"I don't care what you two do to stop this nonsense, just do outside of my house and away from my family!"

"He started it!" they both shouted, before glaring at each other.

"I did not! You did!"

"You were the one ruining relationships!" Cupid growled.

"I was doing my job!" Anti-Cupid retorted.

"So was I!"

"WELL YOUR JOB'S ANNOYING!"

"SO IS YOURS!"

Anti-Cosmo sighed with irritation, before making the ''thumbs'' on the arm like shapes cover their mouths.

"Would you two like to finish discussing this in my dungeon?" Anti-Cosmo asked softly.

Both Cupid and Anti-Cupid paled at the thought.

Cupid had only heard of it, but rumor had it that Anti-Cosmo's dungeon was worse than the Hocus Poconos and Flappy Bob's combined. Anti-Cupid however knew full well that his leader's dungeon was not a pleasant place, and he'd only seen it once while looking for the kitchen. He'd even heard screams.

Anti-Cosmo smirked as he observed the duo's reactions.

"Well, I suppose that's not what you want?" he asked.

They both shook their heads.

"Well then, perhaps I can offer a more calm way for you to discuss your problem…"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A few minutes later, Cupid, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Cupid were sitting at a table, each holding a cup of tea.

"How do you drink this drab?" Cupid asked as he stared at the dark liquid.

"What's the difference between this and your precious coffee?" Anti-Cupid asked.

"It doesn't have that little zing when you drink it."

"You mean the caffeine rush?"

"Hey, it keeps me level headed and ready to go when something happens!"

"And it makes you explode when you run out…" Anti-Cosmo remarked.

"Hey, I was having a tough day alright!"

"Yes, yes, well, I think we've come to an agreement." Anti-Cosmo glanced at Anti-Cupid.

He sighed. "I won't go crazy when spreading hate. Five couples tops."

They both looked at Cupid.

"Satisfied?" Anti-Cupid grumbled.

"Perfectly. Now, I have work to do, since I was delayed," he shot a glare at Anti-Cupid, "Toodles!"

He vanished.

"Well, that's one hour of my life I'll never get back." Anti-Cosmo sighed.

"I don't know what you're complaining about, it's the one time of the year I get to mess with that pink haired coffee obsessed nincompoop that I lost-"

"Anti-Cozzie!"

Suddenly Anti-Wanda barged into the room and tackled him in a hug as she started kissing him feverishly.

"What the devil is wrong with you woman?" he exclaimed as he tried to pry her from him.

"Something tells me a friend of ours paid her a visit…" Anti-Cupid muttered.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" They heard Cupid yell happily from the hall, before hearing a _Poof!_

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I know this is really late! Sorry! I wanted to post it _**on**_Valentine's Day, but a lot of stuff came up and then I forgot all about it till now. Happy EXTREMELY late Valentine's Day!


End file.
